Being afraid of catching feelings is something we all feel in our life.
Whether it is a coworker, a friend with benefits, or your BFF’s sibling, it is a hard struggle.
As a kid, you might catch feelings for your cute school teacher. Or maybe at work, you crush on your boss or coworker. And you may even be afraid of catching feelings for the individual you’re sleeping with.
Trust me, I can understand. I have been there. Haven’t we all? Catching feelings is a weird concept. It feels like catching a cold. And why’s that? Well, catching feelings is usually not something you wish for. If you do catch feelings it probably means pain, heartbreak, or a big old dramatic mess.
Having feelings for somebody appropriate is wonderful, but when you catch feelings, you are usually stuck caring for somebody that doesn’t care back or can’t care back.
Why are we all so scared of catching feelings?
As I said, catching feelings is like catching a cold. It is something that sucks a lot and something you can’t shake. But why is that?
Well, catching feelings is turning into attached when that isn’t your plan.
You can’t help it if it is worse than when you do want to feel something. However, you want to concentrate on work, but get distracted. You want casual sex, but get jealous when your lover rolls over to text someone else.
The fear of catching feelings is real because usually sharing those feelings is hard if not impossible. And those feelings are often met with rejection.
What does it mean to catch feelings?
Sometimes, catching feelings is unexpected. You go on a first date maybe planning or hoping to catch feelings, but you don’t go into a job interview or dinner at your best friend’s place expecting emotions to arise.
Having no anticipation for feelings to erupt is very difficult. Without getting ready, you’re stuck in this zone.
Another thing about catching feelings is the vulnerability that arrives with feeling something. Now you risk being hurt. And many people avoid hurt at all costs.
Why are you afraid of catching feelings?
The common reason most people fear catching feelings is being hurt, but it goes beyond that and can be a lot more intricate. When you realize why you’re afraid to catch feelings, you can face it.
You can begin to work through your fear of catching feelings and actually put some effort into a relationship. Catching feelings very well may lead to heartbreak, but without those feelings, you don’t get good feelings either.
So trying to find out why you’re afraid of catching feelings can help you face the fear and move forward.
1. This isn’t somebody you should have feelings for.
If this is the case, it may be the only reason for being scared of catching feelings that should actually halt you. Having feelings for somebody you work with or a teacher can create a lot of problems than it is worth.
Of course, there are some exceptions, but often this is the sort of crush to shut down before somebody gets hurt more than emotionally, but also professionally.
2. You’ve been hurt before.
This is may be the most common reason to be afraid of catching feelings. It certainly is for me. And it is a hard one to face. If you have been hurt in your past, you fear to give in to your feelings again.
You expect to get hurt if you have some feelings so you try to avoid said feelings. So how does one stop this from controlling you? You just let it go and take that risk. Understand that without that faith in your feelings you will never be able to be truly happy. Always thinking about when you’ll be hurt is no way to live.
3. You don’t like feeling vulnerable or weak.
There is always a sense of vulnerability when you like somebody. When feelings are involved you give a bit of yourself to another individual, and it makes you vulnerable.
But with giving up control, you are really stronger by having faith and taking a risk. It is completely understandable to be scared, but you are letting weakness take over if you avoid yourself a relationship due to fear of being weak.
4. You don’t want to depend on somebody.
For those who are independent or have been burned by their reliance on somebody else, it can be terrifying to depend on somebody. And whether it’s financially or emotionally, loosening your control can cause more anxieties.
Keep in mind that no matter your feelings or relationship, you are your own person. And only you’ll be able to decide how you are feeling about you.
5. You don’t wish to stir up old feelings.
Discovering you have feelings for somebody new can bring up old heartbreak. In fact, crushing on somebody new can put you right back in the headspace you were in with your last romance.
It can make you nervous to catch feelings. But understanding each person is different and every crush and relationship is different can help you shake old feelings.
6. You don’t want things to get complicated.
The complication is something many people want to avoid. Feelings do make things complicated.
Maybe you wanted casual sex so you could focus 100% on your work, but are now catching feelings. You may end things so they don’t get messier.
However, sometimes life is supposed to be complicated. You can’t avoid confrontation and awkwardness forever.
Sometimes relationships take work and effort and even drama. However, all of that is worth it for a good and healthy relationship. Understand complication is only part of having feelings.
7. You’re afraid of change.
For those people who like the same restaurants, the same clothes, the same TV shows, it can be difficult to break out of your comfort zone. And catching feelings is definitely out of many people’s comfort zones.
However, comfort zones are overrated. Sometimes stepping out of your norm or daily routine is exactly what you need to be really happy.
8. You don’t want to care more.
They say that whoever cares less in a relationship has the power. So, you don’t want to admit to your feelings because you may give up power.
You risk more hurt if you care more. However, that is what makes those who care so much stronger.
Keep in mind that a relationship is never 50-50. Somedays they are 90-10 or 70-30 or 55-45.
Just giving into your feelings, no matter how strong, is what makes you feel great.
9. You know it can’t last.
Few of us just cannot wrap our heads around a lasting relationship. Maybe your parents divorced or you never saw a happy lasting couple.
However, that does not mean it doesn’t exist and that you shouldn’t try for it.
If you think, “why bother feeling something for somebody when eventually it will end,” Understand you can break the pattern. Just give in to your feelings.
10. Face things you’ve avoided.
Once we go through a breakup or a big life change, we swallow down any bad feelings or feelings we haven’t dealt with.
But when you catch feelings for somebody, it lifts a lot of other feelings back up to the surface.
In order to feel your romantic emotions, you often have to see other things you may have avoided. But it can make you stronger than before.
Are you still afraid of catching feelings? I hope not. But if you are, simply know that you are not alone. And no matter what causes this fear can be worked on.
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