After some time even the healthiest of relationships could begin to turn bad. Use these 18 major signs of an unhealthy relationship to decipher your own love life.
A healthy relationship is every couple’s fairy-tale dream.
After all, all of us want our love lives to be filled with fun and happiness.
But other than a lucky few, many couples lose their way along marital or relationship bliss and end up taking the unhealthy way towards bad romance.
It’s quite truly sad because as a partner, your lover and you do try your best to make the relationship work.
You may try hard to know one another and communicate with each other.
But unless you really understand what matters for happy love, your efforts may be as useless and random as trying to find something in the dark.
What makes a relationship unhealthy?
A romantic relationship always starts healthy.
It begins with infatuation, passion and sleepless amazing nights.
Love just feels so perfect, and your partner feels like the soulmate you’ve been wishing for. And if things ever go bad in love, it’s only because of one common issue.
For instance, lack of communication and understanding.
It’s really that simple. All your issues in your relationship and all the heartbreaks you experience in your life are the effects of just one simple idea, lack of communication between lovers.
But as simple as the idea of communicating openly may seem, it’s also the difficult thing to do, especially when egos come in between or when you assume your partner will judge you for your opinions.
When you can really understand what you feel inside when you learn to communicate how you feel with your partner, and both of you play an active part in understanding and helping one other, your relationship will bloom and withstand the test of time easily.
But if you are not able to communicate with one another, it’s only a matter of time before the healthy love starts to spoil from within.
Living through an unhealthy relationship
If you’re already having an unhealthy relationship, communicating with one another is easier said than done.
If you don’t know you’re doing something wrong, or if you can’t give a bad feeling that weighs you down, can you ever fix it? It’s like trying so hard to find the solution to a problem you don’t know or understand.
The difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship is easy to find out though.
In a happy relationship, your partner is your pillar of strength and your support, and you feel like a piece of you is missing when they’re not around.
But if you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you’d feel drained of energy and happiness whenever you’re around your partner.
In fact, you’d feel happy when you’re away from your partner with friends or with a secret crush and you’d understand that you have more fun things to talk about with others than with your own lover.
The 18 major signs of an unhealthy relationship:
It’s never easy to know when the relationship actually started going bad. At times, it may be a simple blink of the eye or a time when you felt underappreciated or felt an emotion of insecurity.
And at other times, it may be something more glaring and obvious like an affair or a clash.
The start of an unhealthy relationship isn’t simple to understand, but it almost always begins with these 18 major signs.
If you find out any of these unhealthy relationship signs sprouting in your love life, weed them out immediately. Doing so will not only save your love life but also bring more love and joy in your relationship.
Do you see any of these 18 signs in your relationship? Communicate about it with your partner, and the joy will seep right back into your lives stronger and it would last longer!
Affairs can come in different ways, be it sexual or emotional. But the important thing is that it can affect your relationship with your partner.
When you invest your lover’s share of love for somebody else, it’s normal that your partner will feel neglected and hurt.
And that may force them to push away from you, even if you convince yourself that you’re not having an affair with no one.
2. Secrecy and Dishonesty.
Do you cover up a lie with half-truths even if it’s something as unimportant as what you’ve been up to the whole day? Or do you have a secret crush on somebody and avoid talking about it with your partner?
Whatever it is, talk about it with your partner and you’ll see how much close both of you can get.
3. Lack of respect.
In a happy and healthy relationship, both partners need to respect one another.
They make promises and keep them, and they avoid talking ill of each other’s shortcomings just to feel better about themselves.
4. Desires and expectations.
Do you have some secret expectations from your lover, something you haven’t told them about? Or do you have a dream that you wish your partner could help you achieve?
Expectations in the relationship are good, but only when they are communicated and realistic.
Are you jealous of your lover? Often, there may be some things about your partner that you envy, like their high paying job or the number of friends they have in life.
Envy isn’t always bad, but if it converts into jealousy and you secretly plot ways to isolate your lover from their friends or tell them to find a new job, it’s a sign of unhealthy jealousy in a relationship.
6. Sex is the driving force.
Are you and your partner together only because both of you are smitten by one another sexually? Is glorious passion between two of you the sheets the only reason why both of you are in a relationship?
If sex is a solution for everything, be it spending a night together, making up after an argument or even to display affection, that’s just unhealthy.
A romantic and healthy relationship needs two things to be successful, communication and physical attraction. By ignoring communication, you’re only setting yourselves up for misery and misunderstandings in a relationship.
7. Unhealthy Competition.
When you feel powerless in a relationship, and feel like you don’t have a main role to play in the relationship, your love life could turn into a power struggle war to prove you’re the boss.
In unhealthy relationships, one partner secretly wishes and hopes that their partner will fail often so they can feel like the more powerful one in love life.
Does your lover’s closeness to an attractive friend threaten you?
Insecurities are normal at the beginning of a new relationship where both lovers are still understanding about each other, their exes and their cute friends.
But in an unhealthy relationship, insecurities prevails all the time, even when the relationship flies past the infatuation step.
9. Lack of emotional attachment.
It’s never wrong to have many close friends or have secret crushes in your normal life. It’s common and happens to all of us.
But for a relationship to succeed, your lover has to be your closest and best friend, and you need to feel comfortable discussing anything, be it money issues, sexual fantasies, or even kinky games in the bedroom.
Emotional attachment takes time to grow, but if one of you stops building the attachment because of the fear of awkwardness, there will always be hidden secrets that’ll prevent both of you from getting more close.
10. Testing games.
One of the many common signs of unhealthy relationships is the testing games these couples play.
Every now and then they intentionally ask their lover to do something, knowing full well that they’d forget all about it or make a mistake, just to catch their lover at a weak moment and say “I told you so!”
11. Missing sex life.
Do you believe that true love and caring is all you need for a successful relationship? Then you’d definitely be wrong.
Unless one of you can’t have to withhold sex for medical reasons, both of you need to give a lot of attention to looking good and enjoying sex.
Sizzling sexual chemistry plays a much bigger part in the relationship than you may assume!
We’re all humans and we’re not all perfect. Obviously, there may be a few things you want to change about your lover.
But that gives you no excuse to compare them to others, be it your ex, your rich friend or your crush. Comparisons always give insecurities and damage a relationship.
If you’re in a long last relationship or a marriage, you would have experienced few instances of this already.
Does your family members or your lover’s family interfere with your life as a couple more often than necessary, either by making consistent requests or trying to improve themselves with your decision making?
This may be bearable nowadays, but someday, it will take a toll on your love life and turn it into an unhealthy kind. Interfering families always do cause issue.
14. You love being in love.
But you aren’t in love. Do you ever think that? Are you staying in the relationship only because you like knowing you’re loved or because you’re scared of losing your partner to somebody else?
Often, the main reason you may still be in a relationship is that you’re afraid of what you may have to feel if you break up.
But you have to know that staying in a relationship in the fear of losing your partner more than out of love for them will never give you happiness.
15. Give and take.
Every now and then, relationships want compromises and sacrifices from both lovers to function harmoniously. In a healthy relationship, the compromises are balanced and both lovers are happy to accommodate one another’s expectations.
But in an unhealthy relationship, it’s always just one lover who bends over backward while the other lover just wants things done their way.
16. Controlling freak.
A controlling individual is just not cut out for a happy and healthy relationship unless they make the effort to change in life. A relationship is about balance and understanding between two partners.
And it isn’t all about being dominated by one partner. If one lover takes most of the decisions or always does things their way, it’s a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Even if the relationship looks perfect today, it may be so only because the giving lover may be timid or may not have voiced their unjust treatment yet. But once the imbalance comes out in the open, it’ll leave both lovers bitter and angry because neither can understand the other.
17. Silent treatment.
It’s inevitable to have differences between partners now and then. But what matters most is however you handle it.
What do you do when a clash arises? Do both of you take a strong stand and stick to your own point of views? Or does one of you give the other folk the silent treatment until they learn a lesson?
The silent treatment, though effective, is one of the most dangerous paths of trying to fix an issue. And it’ll only lead to secrets, insecurities, and frustrations in love life. Use the silent treatment if you must, but only if you know the right way to use them with your partner.
18. Incompatibility issue.
Incompatible relationships are the worst kind of relationships. The love may have blossomed correctly, but with limited talk and understanding of one another, both lovers may have strayed away from one other over time.
It’s not too late to come closer though, all you need to do is start from the first stage again. And this time, you need to talk!
So… how healthy is your relationship?… Do you see any of these signs of an unhealthy relationship in your own relationship?
Almost always, ignoring any of those 18 signs will only do more harm than good to your relationship.